A revelation of feelings

Disclaimer: the Ouran High School Host Club does not and will never belong to me. But I can still dream can’t I?…
A Revelation of Feelings.

Chapter 1

I wonder if Hikaru yearns for me as I do him? Ever since Haruhi entered our lives, Hikaru has become increasingly distant. Does he even remember who I am, or does his mind only remember that little brat? I miss the small touches we used to exchange; now our act is all I have to remind me of what used to be. We even sleep in separate beds, and because of this my sleep has suffered greatly. I had become so accustom to sleeping with him that now sleeping in a bed alone is just so unnatural. I miss the way his arms wrapped around my slender body when we slept; I miss his gentle voice that comforted me in times when I was troubled or scared. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I just want my Hikaru back. Is that too much to ask?

“Kaoru, is something wrong?” I hear Hikaru ask. I let myself return to the real world and find Hikaru sitting with our clients. Haruhi is sitting on his other side.

‘Nothing,” I mutter, turning away so I wouldn’t have to look at him and Haruhi.

“Please excuse us,” Hikaru says politely, and he grabs my arm and drags me out the door. “What the hell is with you?!” he hisses.

“What the hell is with YOU?!” I burst. “All you ever seem to do now is fawn over that girl. You never spend any time with me anymore. You have even moved into another room! Either choose her or choose me, but let me say this: She will NEVER love, nor understand you like I do.”

With this, I turn on my heel and run down the corridor. I can tell by the lack of footsteps behind me that he did not follow me. Tears flow freely down my cheeks as I run into my room and barricade myself in there.

A few hours later, I hear a knock at my door. I open it to find Haruhi standing in front of me with a steaming bowl held in her hands.

“You didn’t show up for dinner, so I though you might be hungry,” she says, presenting the bowl to me.
I take the bowl from her without a word and slam the door in her face. She is the very last person in the entire world that I want to see. I sit down on my bed and look at the bowl in my hands. Its beef stew. As I ate, a thought crosses my mind: This is a favorite of both Hikaru and I. And as this thought passes through my mind, tears well up in my eyes. Rage suddenly replaces sorrow. I look down at the now empty, but this only serves as fuel for my rage. Blind with rage, I throw the crystal bowl. It slams into the wall and shatters. I lay down on my bed and slowly drift into unconsciousness.

I awake the next morning and am shocked to see Hikaru lying next to me. His arms are draped around my waist. He looks so peaceful that I cannot bring myself to yell at him. I begin to wonder how he got in here with the door being locked and all, but then I remember that we both have keys to open our door. I glance over at the clock and see that it is eight forty0five in the morning- way too early to get up on a Saturday morning. I lay my head back down on the pillow and snuggle closer to Hikaru. Sleep comes instantly to me.

Hikaru’s stirring wakes me. I turn around in his arms to face him just as his baby blue eyes open. He cautiously brushes a stray lock of hair from my eyes and smiles gently.

“I am so sorry for my actions, Kaoru,” he begins. “I didn’t think about how my actions would affect you. Please, give me another chance to make it up to you.”

I stroke his face lovingly and wrap my arms around his neck. I don’t need words to tell my twin that he is forgiven; he can tell by my actions. I hug him tightly to me and whisper in his ear, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Kaoru,” he replies.

Days pass, and things finally return to normal. Or at least, as normal as possible. I feel horrible for saying those hurtful things to Haruhi and even though I try to apologize, she is constantly blowing me off. My love for Hikaru has returned with a vengeance- so much so that it is nearly unbearable to sleep beside him and not touch his perfect body. I know that some day, I will loose control and finally cross the line, and I hope that when I do, he will understand.


Chapter 2

Summer is now upon us, and it is now more than ever that a young man’s thoughts turn to those of love. And, believe you me, when the one you love is your brother, it is very difficult to have any sort of self-control, especially when you sleep together. A number of times I have caught myself thinking of him, and for this I am greatly ashamed.

The host club has decided to go to the beach for a few days. This means that our female customers will be coming along as well.

The salty air; the warm sunshine; the soft breeze and the feel of sand squishing between your toes; it is prefect weather for a day at the beach. Everyone save Haruhi is having fun in the water. Hikaru and I are shepherding our guest into the water. The girl is al little on the nervous side, but we assure her that we can help her out and that we won’t go too far out. We wade out until the water is up to about the middle of our chests before stopping and waiting for our lady friend to come. She comes and we keep going. We stop again to wait for her to catch up; the water now reaches our chins. A small wave suddenly pushes us back slightly. Hikaru must have seen it coming and braced himself, but I had not. I stepped back into nothingness. It was the drop-off. My head goes under and as I sink, I hit my head hard on a log. Blackness engulfs me.

I am only acutely aware or people talking, but as time passes I become more and more aware. The only voice I recognize immediately is my brothers.

“What happened, exactly,” I hear a voice ask. I think it is Kyouya’s.

“Well, we were hit by a wave- a small one – but it was enough to force him backwards. There was a sudden drop off behind us. Kaoru fell when he stepped back. As soon as I felt him go down, I grabbed for him, but I missed. I dove down and found him floating unconscious. I think he may have hit his head on something. I dragged him up to the surface and carried him to shore. And you know what happened after that.”
“Indeed,” Kyouya replies.

“In a sense, I feel partially responsible,” Hikaru says in a quivering voice, and I feel his hand caress my face. “I feel that I should have done something to prevent all of this from happening.”

“Well, we cannot change the past, so don’t dwell on it too much. I’ll leave you two alone.”

I hear the scrape of a chair on tile and footsteps that grow fainter. The snap of a door tells me that he has gone. A sudden pain flares up in the back of my head and I moan in agony.

“Kaoru? Are you awake?” I hear Hikaru ask. He is worried – I can tell from the quivering in his voice.

I moan again in confirmation and open my eyes to see him leaning over me. I smile weakly up at him. He smiles back and sighs in relief. A long moment passes between us in which we just look at one another. The door opens suddenly and a doctor bustles in.

“I need to check your brother, so it would be much appreciated if you would leave,” the doctor asks politely.

Hikaru gives me a hug and leaves the room. The doctor checks the back of my head, and then begins questioning me. In all, the check up takes around half an hour. As soon as the doctor walks out the door, Hikaru comes back in.

“So how are you feeling?” he asks.

“Well, to tell the truth, my head hurts a bit, but apart from that, I’m good,” I reply. “The doctor said that I should rest for a few days, so I guess our act will have to be put on hold until then.”

“In that case, I’ll stay here with you.”

“Thank you, Hikaru,” I say.

Haruhi comes at suppertime with two plates full of crab and sushi.

“Good to see you’re awake and well Kaoru,” she says,

“Thank you. Its good to see you too,” I reply.

She smiles and hands me a plate. She hands the other one to Hikaru. Then she turns and leaves.

We eat in silence. Haruhi comes about twenty minutes later and carts away the empty plates. Hikaru leaves shortly thereafter, saying he needs a shower. As soon as he leaves I roll over and succumb to sleep.
Finally, after a few days, the doctor says that I am now able to resume my normal activities. Hikaru and i go to our first host club session since the accident.

As soon as we open the door, silence falls over the crowded room. Then, one of our customers bursts into tears and runs to us. She wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight hug. I am shocked at her bold actions; she is usually one of our more reserved clients.

“Welcome back, Kaoru, Hikaru. It has been dreadfully lonely without the two of you here to liven things up,” she says tearfully.

“Thank you. Its good to be back,” we say at the same time. The girl smiles.

Our clients were more excited and inquisitive than they normally are. Then again, all they seemed to want to know was what exactly happened that day at the beach. So we told them what they wanted to hear. I don’t believe I have ever wanted the host club to end as much as I do now. This past session, Hikaru and I sounded like broken records as we repeated our story to nearly every single one of our guests.

But finally it is over for the day. Hikaru and I make our way back to our chambers. All I want to do is rest, and judging from the look on his face, I would say Hikaru wants the exact same.

As soon as we lock our bedroom door, Hikaru and I look longingly at our bed. We turn and face each other, and I take his hand in mine and squeeze it tightly. Suddenly, his lips press against mine, his tongue parting my pink lips. Then, as suddenly as he kissed me, he breaks away. His face is beet red, and I am positive mine is as well.
“Kaoru…” he begins, but he doesn’t get a chance to finish what he was going to say. I put my finger to his lips.

“I know, Hikaru, and all I have to say is I feel the same way.”

His expression is one of shock, but that shock soon turns to happiness. I press my lips to his and he allows me to part them. In a few minutes, we begin to remove one another’s clothes- one by one; a piece at a time. Hikaru removes first my jacket and then my shirt, exposing my pale skin. With a butterfly’s touch he traces the line of hair that extends from my navel and disappears beneath my pants. Meanwhile I have removed his jacket and am now working on unbuttoning his shirt. His kisses became deeper, more intimate. His tongue plays with mine as he strokes my erect nipples. Shivers of pleasure shoot down my spine. I feel him grow hard against me, which causes me to grow hard as well. Suddenly his hands are grabbing my rear. I moan in sheer pleasure against his lips. He tips us backward onto the bed. I wrap my arms around his lower back, forcing him against me. I had not thought that I could get any harder, but apparently I was wrong. I get harder still.  We lay there on the bed, half naked and entangled in each other’s arms. I began undoing his pants, and not long after, we are both clad in only our boxers. I rub my legs over his and feel his body shudder. Only a single article of clothing stands between us and the loss of our virginity…


We collapse against our pillows, exhausted and out of breath but feeling fulfilled in so many ways. We turn and glance at one another and Hikaru caresses my face more lovingly than he ever has. Then I wrap my arms around his slender body and sleep engulfs us.

From that day on, our act was no longer just an act- it was a revelation of our true feelings.